My boss' voice literally gives me gas
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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