i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
