ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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