are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
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