You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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