dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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