Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
