i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
