like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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