Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
