you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
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