I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
