If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
50% drunk capacity currently
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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