OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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