we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
