There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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