should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
