He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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