and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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