I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
