you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
