i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
