thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
