He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
