K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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