the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
