I hate your face
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize