she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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