I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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