may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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