how do flat chested girls get laid?
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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