Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
