He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
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so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
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Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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