He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
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Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
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If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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