Tell her she can't have a vagina
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
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