so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
