Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
