I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
