hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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