You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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