whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
