Having a random hookup so left but love u
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
