Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
