What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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