using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
