forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
