I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
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Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
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Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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