we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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