im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize