my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
