they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
COCAINE IS GR8
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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