Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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