i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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