I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
