I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
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