Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
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He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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