hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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