omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
