It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
