we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
